I was sober for nearly two months, then the other night I had a glass of wine or three or five or whatever it was. I had decided in advance a few days before that I was going to have wine on that occasion, that it would be sort of a test to see if I could do the moderation thing, and I can’t. I woke up on the couch in my clothes at 5 AM with a raging headache. I got undressed, went to bed and couldn’t get up in time to make an appointment on time, was more than half an hour late, and was kind of checked out, not all “there” because I felt so lousy. I felt lousy all day. But it told me what I needed to know. I can no longer do the “moderation in all things” thing, which was really a source of pride for me.
I finished Ann Dowsett Johnson's Drink yesterday, and cannot recommend it highly enough. It is exceptionally well written and emotionally powerful. I don't agree with the public policy recommendations, but the personal narrative is riveting and inspiring.
I have been reading Stefanie Wilder Taylor's blog, Baby on Bored. The author of snarky, mommy-loves-her-wine books like Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, Taylor took the courageous step in 2009 of publicly admitting she drank too much and was stopping. Her blog posts on her struggles with sobriety are raw and funny and she seems like the kind of mom I would love to have a cup of coffee (not a glass of wine) with. I loved this post; be sure to read to the end. Not that anyone is reading this blog and will on my recommendation, since there are no comments and hardly any hits on the stat counter. But what do I expect from an anonymous blog I don't promote on Facebook or tell my friends about. Maybe someday I'll work up the courage to do it. Maybe not. In the meantime, I will go on not drinking (that's the plan anyway) and reading and writing and taking care of my kids and being grateful, not necessarily in that order.